apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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