Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
