Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
