I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
