Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
I think my vagina is haunted
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Randomize
