She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
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