We won't sleep together?
there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
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