The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Randomize
