I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
Randomize
