Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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