Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
My Higher Power is John Stamos
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Randomize
