A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Randomize
