Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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