check it out our google latitudes are spooning
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
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