i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
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