i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
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