my mouth tastes like poor choices
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
