May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
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