I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize
