She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
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