Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
