...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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