they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
Randomize
