A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Randomize
