A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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