My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
Randomize
