The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Randomize
