whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
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