Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
Randomize
