Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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