we made out on top of his cat.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
Randomize
