all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize
