i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
