if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
two words: eviction party
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Randomize
