how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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