this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
Randomize
