I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
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