chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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