Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
