Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
