ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
