Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
Randomize
