so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
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