That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
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