i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
