she looked like the bat from fern gully.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
