I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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