I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
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