Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
Randomize
