The brown eye won't let me do that either.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Randomize
