Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
