On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
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